Wardrobe Malfunctions

Maybe clothing issues aren’t big deal for most people, but I’ve always found that finding clothes that fit right is a major pain in the neck.  (I’ll apologize to any guys who might stumble onto this blog today)

Just for a point of reference (because I’m well acquainted with this statistic), Wikipedia states that 5′ 3″ or less is petite, and 5′ 5″ and over is regular.  I am literally caught between the two standards at 5′ 4.”

Now you wouldn’t think that an inch either way would make much difference, but when it comes to jeans and slacks, it makes a big difference.  As far as length goes, petite jeans make me look like I’m going wading…and the hems on regular jeans are generally dragging the floor under the heels of my shoes.  I suppose I could fix that, except I hate hemming jeans.  Well…I hate hemming anything.

Waistbands can be another pain.  Taller people tend to have higher waistlines.  Pants and bras should not look like a jumpsuit.   Okay, so I exaggerated a little.  But I just measured and there are 3 1/2 inches between the top of my waistband and the bottom of my bra.  If the waistband hit me where it should, there would be 5 1/2 to 6 inches in between them.

Next on the list of clothing complaints is the placement of buttons on the front of blouses.  Maybe that also has something to do with being in the Twilight Zone when it comes to sizes, but unless I buy them too big, there is always a gap where there shouldn’t be a gap.

Not all wardrobe malfunctions are mine, thank goodness.  I took my daughter to see the doctor a couple of weeks ago and, while sitting in the waiting room, a woman approached me with a problem.  She was wearing a top made like a hospital gown.  Apparently she forgot to fasten the inside ties and wondered if I could help her.

My first thought was, “Ewwwww!  Are you kidding me?!”  It’s not that I have anything against helping people, but reaching my hands up under the back of a strange woman’s top….um.  Yeah, I don’t think so.  I can only assume that my thoughts were clearly reflected on my face because she grinned and said never mind.  Then she asked her husband for help.

Have you experienced any wardrobe malfunctions that you’d like to share?  I mean beyond the whole skirt in the back of your pantyhose thing…cause we’ve all done that at some point.  🙂

This is precisely why I wear flats.  Trust me, if I tried wearing heels, I would have shoe malfunctions like this regularly.

Now, since yesterday was Father’s Day, I’ll do a quick goal update today.  I learned a very valuable lesson last week.  If you are editing a ‘Read Only’ file, your changes won’t save.  In my defense, I didn’t even know I had a read only file of the book on this computer…but I sure was editing it for two weeks.  However, I did get half of it RE-edited.  And I also went on another picture-taking expedition.  Granted it wasn’t on the goal list, but accumulating photos for my blog is just a long-standing, never ending goal.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Wardrobe Malfunctions

  1. I’m 5’2″ – i’m short but not tiny. sheesh. it is so hard finding clothes that fit. I hear you.

    • You would fit right in with my family, Louise. I’m like an amazon compared to my mom and sister (4′ 11′ and 5′ 0″ respectively). When I was a teenager, I bought my mom a pair of slacks for her birthday one year…got a good price on clearance (meaning they couldn’t be returned). She laughed when she opened them, stood up and showed me why. With the hems hanging at the tops of her shoes, the waistband came almost up to her collar bone. I was a little more careful after that. 🙂

      • my oldest daughter is 5 ft if she stands tall and she’s tiny. her solution to the situation is heels higher than i can stand in. LOL. i can see the image of your mom with her pants in her armpits. LOL

  2. Ugh. I almost never wear tops with buttons. Unless you are flat chested they never look good. I have probably had too many wardrobe malfunctions to remember. And when I was organizing all my models for the shows I could probably pull out a ton of crazy stories. That poor girl on the runway was clearly having issues with her shoes. How sad for her.

    I had a “read only” document issue. It can be caused by a problem on the computer. You might want to look into that. But to save changes to your document simple save it under a new name. Add a number to the end or something. 🙂

    • That girl is not the only one. There’s a video on YouTube with a LOT of girls having the same problem. That’s just ridiculous. When heels are so high that you can’t control your ankles, they’re too high. Broken bones are just not worth the risk!

      I’m not sure HOW my file wound up being a ‘read only.’ Usually when I have to get something from a disk, I copy and paste it into a new file, because I KNOW you can’t edit a read only copy. All I can think is that I must have been too tired and just saved a copy from the disk instead.

      I didn’t know about changing the name or adding a number. I wound up copying and pasting it into a new file…LOL…and kept closing and re-opening it to make sure the changes were sticking. Dang. Two weeks worth of editing. Sigh. 🙂

  3. I’m cringing for that poor girl!

  4. Karen McFarland

    Hi Kristy, I understand your pain. I also am 5’4”. It is and has always been one royal pain in the butt. Growing up, there were no petite sizes if you remember. So literally, your pants as you said drug on the floor, unless you hemmed each and every one of them. I would buy my jeans in the boys/mens department. There, they offered different lengths. Aha, it wasn’t perfect, but it worked. Now, I shop at Banana Republic for all my pants. Here’s my secret. I have a luxe card. When I buy my pants, usually on sale, if you know what I mean, they hem for FREE! Yes, you heard me correctly. They only do this if you have a BR Luxe card. It’s not hard to get. Let’s just say that Banana Republic doesn’t make a whole lot of money on me. LOL! I buy my jeans on sale. The last pair were reg. $90., I picked up for $25. Then they hem for free. I love it! Oh, and they offer different styles. You can choose how high you want/need your waist to be. Nice, huh? Check it out. Hopefully, it will work for you! Happy shopping Kristy! 🙂

    • Oh I never thought about the guys department, Karen! Good idea! And now I’m going to have to see if there are any Banana Republic stores in my area. I love the idea of someone ELSE hemming my slacks. 🙂

      You know I never realized that there weren’t petite sizes when I was growing up. But I do remember my mother having to hem every pair of pants she bought. Or ‘fringing’ her jeans (she’d cut them off, then spend way too long removing threads so she had an inch of fringe…embarrassed us kids to no end, LOL).

      Glad I’m not alone in the clothing Twilight Zone. 🙂

  5. Well, I’m about 5’5″ and I can tell you, there is nothing ‘regular’ about the clothes I have to find. All the problems you mentioned happen to us ‘regular’ girls, too. I don’t get it. One size does not fit all, nor is a 10 from one designer the same as a 10 from another. It’s a crap shoot each time I go out to buy clothes.

    I love that you measured yourself! Bra to pants should not be a pantsuit slayed me. You are so right.

    If you ever watch ‘What not to wear’, they are always telling people to buy a size up and have it tailored to fit. Um, really? And where to I find a fabulous tailor? The last time I took something in to get a little hem done, they took five inches too much off and the hem looked like a preschooler did it on the crank up play sewing machine.

    • I’m sorry to hear that, Tameri. Have you ever wondered why guys are so special that they rate such a HUGE variety of waist/length jeans…while we just get a size….that is NEVER consistent in either size or length? NOT fair!

      You know the sad thing is, I used to work for a seamstress…and I was really good at it. In fact, at one point, I designed and made antebellum Barbie dresses…hoop skirts and all. (the wedding dress, minus hooped skirt, is in my trailer for Reluctant Guardian…yes, I was very proud of that one). Anyway, I could easily tailor my own clothes…I just hate sewing. 🙂

      There’s also the fact that it costs nearly as much to have clothing altered as it does to buy it. 😦

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