Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache

Ha! Bet you think you know where I’m going with this post…and you couldn’t be more wrong. Believe it or not, sex isn’t the only thing that brings on the headache syndrome. Seriously. We’ve all been there, those times when Romeo or Juliet wants to do something that makes scrubbing the toilet, or dealing with the science experiments in the refrigerator, look like fun.  These are moments when we suspect that the delivery room doctor dropped our mate on the floor, head first, when they were born. But guess what?

Your mate isn’t always thrilled with the things you enjoy either.

Nope. You don’t corner the market on cool. In fact, I’d be willing to bet (were I a betting kind of person), that Juliet wants to run for cover when you announce that you’ve planned a romantic evening watching the Barfbowl Superbowl. And I’m sure that Romeo feels the same way when you decide it’s time to refurbish the bedroom. After all, fuchsia is so much prettier than brown…

But what can you do except suffer silently…if you want to keep the peace anyway?

Surprisingly enough, there are alternatives – unless you enjoy that whole martyr thing (and if that’s the case, it might be time to seek professional help).

Ladies…make the football game more bearable by accepting the fact that, while you might hate it, your partner does not. So grab a good book, or your knitting needles, and keep yourself occupied doing something you like. Then during time outs and halftime, pretend you’re teenagers and start making out.

Going to a car show – and not a car buff? Take the camera along. Both of you can take turns posing beside cars like you’re models. Chat with the car owners, always a nice way to spend your time. Ask if the two of you can sit in the backseats of the ones you like, and talk the owners into to taking pictures. Again, make out like you were in high school.

Guys…I’m going to have some trouble here because I don’t know everything you hate to do, but here’s one suggestion.

If hanging out with her friends and their boyfriends/husbands rates a 3,421,876 on the list of things you love to do, I understand that it could be hard to take. But if you want her to hang out with your buddies and their gals, suck it up and go. Try to be your charming self, talk with the other guys. And if it’s really a miserable situation, discreetly chug that little bottle of Syrup of Ipecac you hid in your pocket before you left. Then make sure you throw up in the main party area. Win/win. You’ve put a quick end to the get-together…and your girlfriend/wife will baby you because she thinks you’re sick.

Okay…for those of you who don’t know me well enough yet…that part about throwing up was a joke. The fact of the matter is, even though you might hate parties, the odds are better than good that you won’t hate everyone there. If you put forth a little effort to be sociable, you might just find yourself having a good time.

Stop being miserable…and start getting creative.

Instead of using excuses to get out of things you don’t like doing, or going along with it and hating every second of it…think of those activities as a chance to be with your mate. Give your brain a little exercise and start thinking. There’s almost always something you can do to make them more fun than usual. Except camping. Unless the tent is pitched on the floor of the hotel room. And I get to sleep on the bed. And order room service.

Yes, I used two songs again this week. No, they don’t have anything to do with the subject…except they’re really cute couples songs by one of my favorite singers. And since my theme this week was just to have fun, they actually kind of fit. 🙂

*Photo Credit: Jolene Navarro

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See you next week for a new tip.

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I’m currently offering a free copy of ‘The Romance Manifesto’ to anyone who is following my blog. If you’re not yet doing so, go ahead and enter your email address near the upper right-hand corner of this page, then shoot me a quick email at kristykjames@gmail.com. I’ll send you the link for a PDF or mobi (Kindle) file. If you’re already following the blog, and would like a copy, let me know, and I’ll get you the links. Thanks for stopping by!

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If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for.  Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention.  Just remember, you will need to exercise some patience, and be consistent.  Anything worth having usually requires effort.

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5 Comments

Filed under Romance

5 responses to “Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache

  1. I love the positive spin you were able to put on doing things together that one of you might not enjoy. We really do have a choice whether we grumble about it (and destroy all the fun for our spouse) or suck it up and find a way to make the best of it. The football example is a good one. I pretty much hate all sports. I find them dull. But my husband loves football, so when he wants me to watch a game with him, I just sit with my laptop on my lap. He doesn’t care that I’m not watching closely. He just wants me there with him. (I do find the yelling at the screen a touch stressful though :P)

  2. Yay, Marcy! Good for you! All your husband wants is to be close to you, so you’ve found a way to be with him, while he’s enjoying something you don’t like…and make it not miserable for you. It’s just little things like that that can make all the difference in a relationship. 🙂

    And I agree with you. I don’t get the whole yelling at the screen. My parents used to do that all the time when they watched baseball. With the windows wide open in the dead of summer. We had neighbors close enough to hear them, too. In fact, I imagine that residents a couple of blocks over could hear them. 🙂

  3. My husband doesn’t watch sports much so that really isn’t an issue in my house. He does like me to sit down, rub his feet and watch shows I’m not that interested in though. 😐 But it is together time. So there’s that. I usually get a foot rub in return. It’s a fair trade.

  4. Hmm, bottle of ipecac – a glimpse into the mind of KK!

    I’m loving your series. Such practical advice. And yes, my friend there are one or two things you all do that we, ahem, tolerate. 😉

    But football … c’mon, man, you gotta like that. You’re from MI!!

    • LOL…just wait until I share my advice for behavior control…with ‘Chocolate’ chunk cookies…substituting chunks of Ex-Lax for the chocolate, of course. No, I’ve never actually tried it, I’d just like to see if it works. 🙂

      And thank you. I’m enjoying it, too. Hopefully some people are finding it useful.

      Sigh…I know. U of M, MSU, the Lions. The only thing I will say that I like are the Lions uniforms. Never, ever call them outfits…and especially never ‘prettiest outfits.’ I don’t know why people take offense at that…blue and silver look pretty together. 🙂

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